Background

He was getting tired of his world between worlds. He'd beaten everyone, crushed all challengers... the raging fire of battle was slowly dying.

Illegal portal opens in Treechnid Forest!

The Astrub Gazette, 8 Jullier 639

On his daily amble to the local Smithmagic workshop, Rowley Birkin, an honest Iop by trade, discovered the now famous teleportation Zaap, which today stands tall right where there was absolutely nothing the day before. Although the magi of the district have already declared it completely useless, as it is in violation of numerous planning laws, none can deny that there is a distinctly magical odour drifting from it. Watch this space...

Whatever about the truth, the rumours are spreading like wildfire. We can't rule out the possibility that something horrific will happen.

Travelling between worlds, spreading discord, upsetting the age old systems that seemed eternal... Even these joyous past times grew tiresome. Even omnipotence has its downside...

Yob-balls on the loose.

The Astrub Gazette, 9 Jullier 639

Bette Fiddler, an eight-year-old Ecaflip, is no stranger to a stiff walk, but she may never stiffly walk again after yesterday's outrageous events. As she took a breather to admire a herd of Gobballs at the Milicluster, the young gambler didn't bet on being chased down by the usually docile beasts. And she's not alone - throughout the land, vicious bleat-ings are being doled out by the overzealous ovines...

Then an idea came to him.

The end of the World?

The Astrub Gazette, 10 Jullier 639

The inhabitants of the World of Twelve are on the brink of panic! As if the uninvited arrival of the Treechnid Forest portal wasn't enough, the mysterious events surrounding the ferocious flora and fauna of the world continue to enrage, fascinate and injure. Meanwhile the three leaders of Astrub, Amakna and Sufokia gathered yesterday to launch a desperate appeal for calm, before running towards the port and leaping on a disused junk.

Just remember, in times like these, there's only one good reason to leave the house – to buy the Astrub Gazette!

A tournament! He would organise the greatest tournament the world , any world , had ever seen. Perhaps he would find a warrior equal to his devastating power... Goultard sent 42 emissaries to the 42 greatest worlds, ordering them to bring him 504 warriors worthy of appearing before him.

Goultard organises a tournament!

The Astrub Gazette, 13 Jullier 639

"Hello, losers!

My name is Goultard the Barbarian. You've definitely heard of me... I'm a big star!
Not so long ago, I was killing a little time between two massacres, and a great idea came to me. I decided to organize an inter-dimensional tournament! The kind of tournament that makes your stomach churn, spin, crack, bump, break, rip and spray out in all directions!

The rules are simple:
- Select the bravest disciples of each of the 12 gods. Choose well, I do not want any cry-babies! Find me thugs, with big arms! I want strong ones who still have blood in their veins!
- Send me these 12 warriors on 3 Frauguctor 639 and I'll put them to the test.

Be on time, if you want to live! Do not underestimate my wrath. If you anger me, I will reduce everything you hold dear to ashes.

But enough of the threats! I might be the most powerful guy in the world but I still appreciate talent when I see it! If the show is entertaining, we can forget all about the fire and destruction... plus I'll give the winners a hefty prize.

That's it.
So find your heroes. Gather the best warriors you have, and make sure they understand that this will be the biggest battle of their lives... GOULTARMINATOR!

I will present the rules of the tournament on 31 Jullier 639 when your heroes have been selected!"


This letter was sent this morning to the leaders of the World of Twelve and it is to be taken very seriously indeed. It is not a ridiculous hoax as was first believed by our previous editor (who died this morning in mysterious and violent circumstances). Goultard the Barbarian is back!

Many people are already preparing to participate in his tournament.

Everyone else is changing their minds by the minute.