Crutch's guide to being a proper citizen of the Earth

Hello there everyone. Some of you may know me, some may not. Allow me to introduce myself fully.

My name is Crutch (at least it is here) and I'm going to take on the number-one threat facing our community today. I fashion myself a gentleman, and as such I take great pride in my manners and chivalry (not yet dead, but very much on life support). I made a conscious decision to act in a manner that the world would view as "good." Whether or not this actually makes me good is a debate for another topic, but I like to think it does. I strive for goodness at most opportunities

As I look across the wasteland that is Impsvillage I notice that many of you are steaming piles of hatred, rudeness, audaciousness, and vulgarity. The amount of thread titles that include the naughtiest of naughty words has increased tenfold since the move to the new server, and it shows no signs of slowing down. People have forgotten how to empathize with their fellow gamers, and after listening to a thread of how they have been beaten down choose to reply with a simple, "sux 2 b u lol."

This is not the Impsvillage I signed up for, this is not the community I want to be involved with. We all need to try harder to be gracious, to try and put ourselves in the other person's shoes, and to be helpful without being condescending.

Many of you are guilty of these acts, and I fully expect the first five posts under this one to be various examples of stupidity. That's fine with me, but hear my message.

It is time to start acting like human beings, not poor parodies of EBAUMSWORLD (apparently IVchan has been replaced).

Well, who am I to be teaching you how to act? Fair question. I'm not really much of anyone, I'm just sickened by most of the garbage that is spewed onto my screen whenever I log into Imps. I used to enjoy coming over here to the Off-Topic area for a laugh, or to be able to provide a word or two of encouragement to someone who has had a bad experience with the game, or life in general.

[align=center]Crutch's guide to being a proper citizen of the Earth

Step One: Manners.

Let's start with the most basic. Always say please and thank you. Always. You truly can never say these two words enough. If someone fails to thank you for a job you deduce that you deserve a pleasantry for, do not give them a snooty "you're welcome." Simply tell them that it was your pleasure to assist them, and don't forget to wish them a nice day. When someone helps you here, you should do likewise. People who give advice on internet message boards do so (on occasion) for the feeling of satisfaction inherent in making someone's day a bit easier. Give them the gratitude they deserve before the thread dies.

The following don't necessarily apply to the forums (directly) but are a few things I feel should be addressed regardless, for the betterment of the "real life."
Hold doors open for anyone and everyone. Not just for little old ladies, or the handicapped. Hold doors open for the fit 40-year old man who has two perfectly good arms. Also, remember that if you are approaching a door that someone is stepping out of, let the exiter go first. There is no hurry so great that should make you attempt a scoot-past manuever.

Do not blame others for your lateness. We've all been late before, sometimes it can't be helped. This is not the fault of the person in front of you who decides to drive the speed limit. They don't know that you are late, stop honking, stop swearing. You will arrive when you arrive, do not risk your health and the safety of others in order to save 30 seconds. Similarly, if someone seems to be in a rush behind you, allow them to pass and remember the times you have hurried while doing so. This applies to the roads and sidewalks, and in some cases bathrooms.

These are just a few examples that you can use to make your day and the day of those around you better.

Step Two: Language.

Curse words are certainly a fantastic method of making your point stand out, but their overuse renders them oft times useless. Using swears all the time will make it harder for people to understand when you are actually upset, and this will just move to further your anger because it will seem that no one understands why you are so upset. Using curses only when absolutely necessary will both make people think better of you, and impress the more mature around you. Also, it goes without saying that the more mature would be more apt to help one with their math homework if they don't think of the person as a complete troglodyte. Swearing too often also makes people dismiss what intelligent points you may have brought up in your tirade. As far as Impsvillage is concerned, swearing in your topic name will usually make me not read your post.

Try using a thesaurus every so often. It will make you sound smarter, and enhance your grasp of the language. This will make you better at crossword puzzles, which you will find to be very enjoyable on boring days at work, assuming you can complete them. Imagine reading a post without the word "that sucks" in it. Would you be more likely to empathize with the OP if they used language befitting of someone older than nine? I think cracking open a thesaurus and getting rid of your old-standards might make for better replies in your threads.

It goes without saying, I'd assume, that internet lingo should be wholly abandoned. It is demeaning towards the person it is aimed at, as they will see your reply as nothing more than, "You are not worthy of me using more than four braincells and an image macro." Remember, as always, these are real people you are dealing with, even if it is just the internet. Leave your tl;dr's to yourself. No one cares that you didn't read a post because it was too long except for you.

Sounding intelligent will make the people who are most helpful more likely to reply to you. The people that are most helpful do care how you present yourself, as they hold a higher standard for themselves and expect it from others.

Step Three: Don't be cool, be yourself.

If you have read this long, congratulations. You still have the attention span that you should, MTV hasn't ruined you yet. As you may well have noticed, being a dick is very, very cool. Don't believe me? Ask any of the maladjusted people who laugh at jokes taken out on newbs, the people who feel that every reply they make should come with its own image-macro, or the folks that think calling someone else a noob makes them seem more functionally "leet." These people will tell you that being mean is always funny, and being funny is always cool. They are without a doubt horribly mistaken.

The internet is a wonderful place to develop your own unique self, but is also a place one visits for a feeling of acceptance. Ask yourself, which group do I really want to be a part of here? Do I want to be respected as Shagbark, Yrona, Kyek, and others (sorry to those of you I'm leaving out, but I feel those are the big three) like them? Or would I rather be a one-hit, one-joke wonder whose posts are skimmed over and not remembered? Certainly many of us look up to and respect the people I have named. Don't you want to one day be stickied because of an occurance when you were simultaneously helpful, articulate, and entertaining? It's a small victory in the grand scheme of things, but a victory is a victory. Think about what you want others to see you as before you post. I know too many people who are viewed as pugnacious 15 year old boys with too much angst when in reality they are wonderful people outside of this screen.

A quick aside, Aza called me out, and she's right. Both her and the rest of the mod staff (well, you know...except Robbeh) are all wonderful examples of this very point. They work their butts off to hold up the values of this board, they do the very things that I am outlining in this horribly long post. They are the definition of uncool.

Starting your own flock is much more satisfying than joining an established one.

Conclusion?

I'd like to now thank you for reading, and hopefully putting thought into, what I have wrote. I know I'm not going to change everyone with this post, but maybe a few of you will make an attempt at being more gentile in your day-to-day lives. Remember, there are countless members of this community who choose not to post because they are scared of what we will say to them when they finally do. It took me three months to make my first post back on Ankama Square because of the fear of being roasted on a spit. These are people with a unique perspective, and stories that are worth sharing. Unfortunately, we tend to slam too much, we make it seem that no one but the regs should dare hit the reply button. We are stealing from ourselves when we do this, by continuing to silence those who choose to be mute.

In addition, if this topic garners attention and kudos, I will add to it. If you feel there is something important that I missed, please add it below. Thank you once more for reading, I appreciate the time you spent reading this post. Time is our most precious resource, afterall.