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anasi the spider and the balls of the tiger

By rumpfelstilskin#6449 September 17, 2006, 11:39:12

this is not a story i wrote, it is just an old, old african story id like to pass on. i must admit i did rewrite it in my own style. i tell it here mostly becaus it is really funny.

it was in those days, that the world became. it was told, the first story, the best story and still to this day no story ever came near. it told about the water and the land, the sky and the deep red lava. it told of heat and it told of rain. and then it told the gods. it was then that the tales were given to tiger, for in those days the gods were animals and man wrapped into one. but tiger was a fearfull creature of blood and fear. now tiger had but one serieus enemy. it was a apraknster, a liar and a cheat. he eas honest and fair and could steal your house from underneath you ore give you wealth you couldnt dream of. he was everythinh that was naughty and wrong in that really good way. he was anansi. he was spider. and spider stole the tales from tiger and made them his. and the world became a better place. for he told storys to reality that were entertaining. and mostly he liked stories about tiger. and himself. and how was ever and always the best, for anansi was a vain man.

it was one day that anansi walked past the drinking place, and saw tiger, resless staring at the water. "goodday tiger"anansi said what are you doing?" "i want to swim"tiger replaid "but if i do, my beautifull balls will get all wet."anansi saw a story if he ever and replied cunningly "why tiger, you leave your balls here, at the waterside, and i will guard them for you."and tiger believed anansi for he was such a good lyer, and took his big, hairy balls and put them next to the water. as soon as tiger was far away, anansi took hi little black spiderballs and lay them were tigers balls were. he hung tigers balls to his own scrotum. yes, much better. they hung heavy and satisfyingly against his legs.
he ran towards the forrst and waited till he spottet monkey. monkey was dumb, and he was easily fooled. anansi tought he was a great help. so as he saw monkey a bit further away he started to snap his fingers and did a soft shuffle dance on the forrest ground. he soflty sang to himself. monkey who was curious, swung towards anansi. "hello spider."he said "what are you sintging?""why, it is the newest hit!"anansi replied "everybody sings it!" "really? how does it go?"monkey asked "i have stole tigers balls, tigers balls, tigers balls. i have stolen his big balls and now the will be supper!"anasi sang. monkey dilighted in the song and immediatly started to sing it himself. now anansi turned back to the drinking pool to wait for tiger. as tiger came out of the weater, all refreshed, he noticed that his big, hairy balls had gone! all there were was two tiny little spidersballd. "you devil of a spider!"tiger growled, readdy to bite anansi i two "wait!"anansi said "i didnt take them! monkey did! he was to fast for me, and i couldt get your balls back! but i coulnd bare to see a tiger without balls, so i gave you mine.."tiger went to monkey that sat high in atree. it heard him singing "i have stolen tigers balls"it sang, and "now they will be supper"he heard. tiger believed anansi completely. and since that day tigers hate monkeys and spiders have very bigg balls.

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Score : 1466

Very funny! Very strange!

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Score : 504

WTF XD Hilarious.

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Score : 1097

lmao... More African stories!

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Score : 1754

really weird but funny...

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